1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
