jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Less talking, more tequila
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
