Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
