I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
