Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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