He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
It's blow job season.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
