Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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