Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
