I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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