Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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