I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
