awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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