Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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