Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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