Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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