Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
This girl is more easily done than said...
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
