After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
