I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
