The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
