You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
only if we run a train.
done.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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