Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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