i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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