Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(727): View more from Florida

He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.

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(727): He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course. http://tfl.nu/636t

Replies (17) Good night (3756) Bad night (996)
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(352): View more from Florida

I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"

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(352): I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W" http://tfl.nu/d9h9

Replies (17) Good night (4346) Bad night (1098)
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(512): View more from Texas

Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...

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(512): Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame... http://tfl.nu/p4qb

Replies (10) Good night (1164) Bad night (3413)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.

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(215): I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days. http://tfl.nu/h5el

Replies (25) Good night (4430) Bad night (1332)
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(361): View more from Texas

Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?

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(361): Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home? http://tfl.nu/3vxh

Replies (2) Good night (2552) Bad night (900)
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(530): View more from California

My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans

(530): View more from California

You've been usurped as King of the Gays

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(530): My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans (530): You've been usurped as King of the Gays http://tfl.nu/3bmd

Replies (19) Good night (1928) Bad night (813)
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(503): View more from Oregon

We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.

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(503): We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty. http://tfl.nu/32wc

Replies (9) Good night (808) Bad night (1545)
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(519): View more from Ontario

We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.

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(519): We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way. http://tfl.nu/bqx1

Replies (4) Good night (1729) Bad night (530)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.

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(651): We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom. http://tfl.nu/dyyq

Replies (3) Good night (2535) Bad night (681)
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(928): View more from Arizona

The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.

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(928): The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death. http://tfl.nu/lz31

Replies (11) Good night (623) Bad night (1962)
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(416): View more from Toronto

Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.

(416): View more from Toronto

NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.

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(416): Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement. (416): NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada. http://tfl.nu/6stg

Replies (6) Good night (1630) Bad night (457)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!

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(505): This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want! http://tfl.nu/7h8o

Replies (3) Good night (597) Bad night (589)
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(310): View more from California

Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.

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(310): Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure. http://tfl.nu/ptmp

Replies (2) Good night (753) Bad night (393)
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(970): View more from Colorado

I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.

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(970): I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through. http://tfl.nu/usec

Replies (2) Good night (696) Bad night (399)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.

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(703): Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused. http://tfl.nu/gh1r

Replies (2) Good night (520) Bad night (320)

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