Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Randomize
