Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.