Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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