I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
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There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
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Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
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