Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize