So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
