Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize