i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
