My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Randomize
