Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
