sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
