____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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