i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
