and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
