So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
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oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
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This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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