I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
