Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
time to smoke my breakfast
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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