i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize