I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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