I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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