My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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