kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Reggie can tackle my bush.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
