Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
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