just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Welp...herpes.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
