HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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