My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
