I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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