Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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