Where is the hickey?
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize