Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
