HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
