I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
