elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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