You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
