My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
