i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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