I woke up to her vacumming the grass
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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