I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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