wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I can't turn off my feet"
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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