and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
