marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
