that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
